


The Reickoning

by PureFives



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Beer, Comedy, Emotionless, Gen, TEH REI
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28749594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PureFives/pseuds/PureFives
Summary: In which the emotionless little girl attempts to slowly develop emotions whilst attacking beer bottles. It makes about as much sense as Evangelion ever did.
Kudos: 3





	The Reickoning

It is a Saturday, the sixth day of the week, 1440 hours. I am located inside of my apartment, currently looking over the second children, Asuka Soryu. The pilot of Evangelion Unit 02. She was injured earlier. I have bandaged her left arm and applied medical treatment to the best of my ability — she awoke moments ago. It appears the wound was not very serious after all.

I can see her eyes wander in my direction. I am unsure of what to do nor the reason why the third children appeared in front of me this afternoon. She appears... upset? Have I angered her or is the second children in pain?

Perhaps I should contact a NERV-certified physician.

The only bathroom of my apartment is located to the East. Looking in that direction assures me of this fact as the door to said room is clearly visible in my sight. I am not certain what this accomplished, however.

Pilot Soryu has located the exit and is now making her way to the door. I am now alone in the apartment once again. I think I shall continue reading.

The book is not staring back. I believe it may have something to do with inanimate objects lacking eyesight. However, I may need to confirm this piece of knowledge with Commander Ikari.

Several minutes pass, it is now 1500 hours. My object of literature has not initiated staring at my direction. I am beginning to feel this is a fruitless behavior.

I am not familiar with the term Kraut. I do not understand why I this term appeared in my mind — perhaps I have a fever?

Not surprisingly, the book has not initiated starting yet. I feel it is hiding something from me but the pages reveal no uncertainty in its intention.

I think the the object firmly planted in my hand is indeed inanimate and is not capable of locking eyesight with me. I am somewhat disappointed by this new-found revelation. I should have asked pilot Soryu for guidance regarding this matter but she is no-longer located in my vicinity.

I do not have a TV placed in my residence. I find television to be draining on the eye-sight, specifically when applied to at extending periods of time. Commander Ikari revealed to me that once a human being is placed in front of a television, they will become addicted to the sight, wasting their lives on the pursuit of visual entertainment.

The prospects of such occurring have prevented me from locking eyesight with the strange creations of man. However, such power to command all to do one's bidding is also strangely attractive to me. I will converse with Commander Ikari on this subject at a near point in time.

The nearest point which would reasonably contain a television device is the mini-mart, located only a number of blocks from my residence. I shall depart immediately; there is an unfamiliar feeling inside of my chest. I feel a sense I cannot quite understand as it slowly builds within me.

Perhaps this is happiness?

I have left my apartment complex. However, I have brought my reading material along with me. Perhaps it will come of use at an unexpected point in my strange journey. Otherwise, I do not see any valid reason to bring it along.

Major Katsuragi's apartment is further than the mini-mart and I do not have in my possession the keys to her residence. Perhaps I should re-think my advance?

I can see a few human beings lock their eyes on to my person. Their looks seem that of curiosity. Or perhaps they are simply content with gazing in my direction. I do not yet know.

Indeed. It appears I will now head in the direction of Major Katsuragi's apartment. Perhaps the strange liquid-like contraption the Operation Director is fond of, may have other interesting properties for me to discover.

I recall the time when I am with Commander Ikari, stretching the sides of my mouth with each hand. I believe this is satisfactory for the current situation.

"What you looking at?" I question those who were looking at me. They are no-longer looking at me. I am not certain if this is the desired outcome of my behavior. Perhaps I should have acted more resolute in my inquiry. It shall be a lesson for another encounter.

Those visible in my line of sight are now dispersing as I continue to fixate my eyes in their direction. I sense they are troubled by my behavior. Have I done something wrong?

It appears that I am conflicted as to which direction I need to travel. However, I think I have already made the decision to travel to Major Katsuragi's residence and I shall follow this route of action. Lest I squander my time more.

I have traveled for an indeterminate amount of time but the object of my search is upon me. The door to the Katsuragi residence towers before me. I believe Commander Ikari warned me to intake more calcium or I remain at my current centimeter-lacking measurement of height.

I have knocked on the door and it soon opens to reveal the face of one Shinji Ikari. The third children and the pilot of Evangelion Unit 01. He greets me in a mixture of some unknown expression, seemingly at a loss for words.

"H-hi Rei...," Commander Ikari's son finally manages out. It appears he only now returned to the apartment — or perhaps he was now leaving, as his shoes would indicate. 

I smile at the boy. However, I may require more practice as pilot Ikari's expression may indicate. Perhaps I should have used my hands once again to allow the same feeling?

He returns the likely-awkward smile to me, inching his way back inside the apartment. I cannot immediately spot the television, or the intoxicants from my current vantage point, specifically as the boy's body blocks-out my view.

"W-would you like to come in?" It appears pilot Ikari is beckoning for me to come inside. It does not, however, appear that he is fully comfortable in my presence. I am uncertain on how to proceed.

I nod silently, following pilot Ikari inside the Katsuragi residence. He has brought me inside what I believe to be called the living room — I can clearly see the television instrument. Its sight is somewhat captivating to me and I can feel the unfamiliar-yet-expected sensation building within.

"I would like a refreshment," I state to the third children. He seems to take a glance in my direction as I stand, waiting for his response. I follow his movements with my gaze as he approaches the refrigerator —

"Ok. What would you like?"

"Beer."

There is a silence which washes over the room. It does not appear that pilot Ikari registered my request and thus I repeat again, "I would like beer."

He seems uncertain.

I approach the refrigerator, locking eyes with pilot Ikari once again. He takes a step away as I open the large, item-holding device, and retrieve what I believe to be two holdings of the beer.

Each is very cold to the touch, likely a result of an extending cooling period inside the refrigerator. I hand the other drink to pilot Ikari, who hesitantly extends a hand to grasp it, still overtaken in uncertainty.

I glance toward my holding of the beer. There is a peculiar cap on the top, perhaps a mechanism of some sort? I am unfamiliar with the contraption nor the method of its activation. Perhaps it is a puzzle? Commander Ikari will likely have the solution.

"I am at a loss to prevent further degradation of the psycho-somatic barrier which supports my connection to this small piece of the material world. I shall now execute counter-hostilities." I am not quite certain what it is that I have said. Pilot Ikari looks even more uncertain. Imitating Ritsuko Akagi is rather difficult when one is not Ritsuko Akagi. Though, perhaps that is the point of all imitation,

"Wha...?" The third children draws-out a gasp.

I do not hesitate, retrieving the knife from the near-by table, forcefully impaling the beer container. There are bubbles forming around the point of penetration. Pilot Ikari's eyes have increased in size — perhaps pilot Ikari is attempting a better look?

I may have succeeded in activating the beer-defense mechanism.

I press the small container against my lips, tasting the strange contents as bubbles form around my mouth--

"It is unpleasant."

It is unpleasant, downright repulsive. I do not enjoy it. I set the container on the table, along with the knife I have retrieved earlier. I shall refrain from further activities that involve the beer.

Pilot Ikari is laughing. It is a strange display of emotion. I do not understand. However, he seems genuinely happy — I find his display comforting in an odd manner. I am unsure of how I should really feel.

—————————————–————————————————

Well... that was weird. Shinji just witnessed Rei take a knife and stab a beer bottle. Why someone would do this is a mystery probably best left unexplored. The boy in question is now standing inside the kitchen with a cold beer in his hand, still amused by Rei's strange antics. Moisture slowly gathers on his fingertips as his fingers gently cup the object.

It appears Rei just returned to the living room and is now examining the...television? Shinji is not too weirded out by this; after all, this is Rei we're talking about. She even tried to smile at him today! Although, that was more of a really strange grin... Oh well, at least Asuka is not around to ruin the moment. Or beat him up.

**Author's Note:**

> FLYYYY MY TO THE MOOOOOOOON  
> AND LET ME PLAAAAY AMONG THE STAAAARS  
> WOOP DEEE DOOOOOP


End file.
